Updated: Mar 12, 2019
Hi all! I realised that I don't do too much talking on here, and I should! so here we go...
When I first launched The Blackspace and received such amazing feedback from everyone (thank you all once again) the first thing I thought was:
Am I a boss babe yet?
Sounds silly but in my head I had created a vision of what a boss babe was and her qualities. I’ll list a few:
Networks like a pro
Invited to all the panel talks
Flashes her business cards at every chance
Looks and feels fabulous all the time
First of all, can I say those qualities are great and all but they’re not me, which is probably why I had created this boss babe version of Jordan and the real me was looking at the list like really?
I was invited to my first panel talk in November, weeks after launching The Blackspace, and I was shitting myself all day. Mainly because that was so far out of my comfort zone it didn’t even feel like real life. Yet I went there, said my piece and celebrated with a mojito. That day made me realise that I wasn’t a “boss babe” who exuded confidence. I stumbled over my words and I was shaking like a leaf but that day I was Jordan, founder of the Blackspace, and I was perfectly fine with that.
One of the main reasons I do not like this “boss babe” term or why I don’t even associate myself with this “cReaTiVe” environment is because it makes it seems like if you don’t run your own business or have a side hustle you’re not a boss babe or you’re not doing much with your life. And let me tell you that is the furthest thing from the truth.
On international woman's day one of my friends put on her private story that she felt like a failure because "all she does is uni" whereas everyone else runs a business. I knew apart of her was joking but this isn't the first time I've heard that train of thought and honestly it makes me sad. Not everyone wants to be a creative or run their own business because its far from easy, yet social media will have you feeling as if doing normal everyday things such as watching youtube videos or being an aye girl with your mates is you being one step closer to becoming a bum. Personally, I think fixating on your future rather than just living in the moment is robbing yourself of a good time (but that's just me)
Also! can we talk about this whole idea of documenting every second of your day for the sake of showing everyone that you live, eat and breathe work.
Let me tell you, I'm not about it. I don't like working hard nor do I like being tired and anyone who says they do is a liar. I work smart. If I can cut corners and still get the job done (well)? I was always. The idea of staying up all night trying to pump out mediocre content for the sake of "working hard" sounds like hell to me.
I am currently writing a 10,000 word dissertation alongside creating a portfolio for a degree that I don’t even know if I want (but I’m literally months away from graduating lol) and running Blackspace and it's DRAINING. I am not having fun, and I’m not sugarcoating things for the sake of being a “boss babe” I’m on breaking point and one more email could literally send me off the edge.
Yet here I am doing the damn thing because I’m not a “boss babe” who has her shit together. I am just a bad bitch who won’t let anything kill her.
Please guys, for your own sanity, stop watching what everyone else is doing because I promise you everyone is going through it. Your fave influencer/youtuber/blogger/stylist/MUA is at their wits end.
Stop trying to be something you’re not, its fucking tiring.